Not too long ago I was in Europe visiting family for the holiday. I was sitting on the couch and gazing at the winter garden, a man walking his donkey and rolling hills in the background – I thought, the perfect place to read a good book! I grabbed one from my mother-in-law’s collection (as an English professor, she has an assortment of the classics):  Romeo and Juliette.

As I journeyed into the romantic tale, I nestled into a state of relaxation – ahh. However, my sanctuary was eventually disrupted by a text from one of my dear friends that left me feeling extremely honored and horrified:

Will you please give the first toast at our wedding?  We’d be so honored and it’s only a 100 people!

Now I am not one of the many bridesmaids or even part of the wedding, therefore my heart filled with joy – Wow the bride-to-be and groom must really value our friendship! Although, if I say “yes” I better deliver and meet their expectations.  After a day or so, I informed my dearest friend that my answer is a heartfelt “yes.”  Immediately I enquired about her expectations. She was so excited that she texted back, “oh even if you make something up on the spot I know it will be great!”   Smiling, I looked over my shoulder at the library of classics looming over me and was reminded of the following:

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

~ Mark Twain

I my case, in order to avoid nerves taking over my tongue, I must prepare, write note cards and practice. I don’t want to be remembered for the worst wedding toast in the history of speeches – I teach Speech Communications for goodness sake!

Once I knew the bride’s expectations, I was ready to start planning the toast. The following are some things that helped me that I hope may benefit you.

5 Tips to Write a Winning Wedding Toast:

1.  It’s not about you, but you need to be you.

If you are not funny don’t try to be a comedian – just be you. Focus on the bride and/or the groom and write words from the heart. Always to think about your topic and audience. Everyone is there to celebrate the wedded couple so you want to write and speak about them and their relationship. Avoid repeatedly using the words “I” and “My.”

2.  Just start.

I find the easiest way is to start writing is by putting your thoughts on paper. Letting words pile up in your brain can be overwhelming and cause anxiety. Just start writing. Maybe find a quote that inspires you or makes you think about the couple and build your toast around it. It’s always easier to edit, omit, change and such after you put what’s in your head on paper.

3.  Focus on the positive.

Always shine a positive light on your bride and groom.

Be nice! This is their special day and you want to honor who they are with positive stories, not unfavorable ones. Avoid rehashing stories from the past that may have some unfortunate incidents (possibly due to overly intoxicated evenings).

Wedding Crashers: Maid of Honor Wedding Toast

4.  Be brief.

Keep your toast short and sweet. As my former boss and mentor Chalene Johnson use to say, “Be brief, be bright, be gone.”

5.  Plan – Prepare – Practice.

If you plan, prepare and practice (PPP) there is little chance your nerves will get the best of you and ruin your speech.  PPP sets you up for success!

Now I am excited to give my first wedding toast this weekend!

By incorporate some of the things I mentioned above, I am sure you will succeed in communicating how you feel about your friends or family on their wedding!

Interesting Articles:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/fashion/the-art-of-the-wedding-toast.html?_r=0